I know people, that know people, that know people....

Well, I called the bio mom today.. I had Heather listen on so that I had proof that I didn't threaten her in any way. I will admit it was a very interesting conversation.

I immediately asked her what she was thinkin. She proceeded to tell me that Adrian pursued her thru this girl in his class. I questioned that due to the fact how would Adrian even know that she (which actually was a he- that gave him the note) knew her. I then explained very firmly that she had no idea the emotions that she caused with those boys. I explained how Elijah was sad & mad cuz she didn't even put his name on the note, he wandered why "doesn't she love me, doesn't she know I'm her kid too"... I explained how Adrian cried & showed how hurt he was but now he's bottled it up to pretend nothing ever happened. She began to bawl.. She said that she missed him and was only trying to reach out. I explained to her that was not the appropriate way to make this happen & if she ever trys to contact them in any way without me knowing or my presence being there that I would instantly put a no contact order on her and have it immediately implemented and she never would have contact again. I than proceeded to tell her that if and when I decided that there should be contact it would be on my terms, for example a public place, a limited amount of time, no sugar coating on her point, no lying. I explained that I've been very open with the boys, that they can talk freely about her, that I still have her pics in his scrapbook but she also needed to know that they know the truth. Elijah knows he was hurt, he knows he was flown to Spokane, he knows he had a foster mom. Adrian knows the truth too. I told her I took the blame for 2 yrs from Adrian. He was so angry with me cuz he thought I had taken him away from her & that I finally had had enough and explained to him what happened. I told her that I've always assured the boys that she loved them, she just couldn't take care of them & that is why she gave them up, so they could have what she couldn't give them. In between her sobs, she told me that she had been doing better, she sees a therapist, she's going to church & etc. I commended her and told her I was proud of her but she is still choosing the wrong crowd to hang with & I will not subject the boys to that. She tried to disagreee & I stopped her explaining that I check up on her frequently. I know that the boy that gave him the note has a mom that has a boyfriend that is wanted as a nark for a drug / theft ring that went down apx 5-6 months ago. I know that he is a hunted guy. I know that she ran in that crowd.. I then said quote - unquote " I know people, that no people, that no people". (Okay after the call I fell apart laughing what a stupid thing to say but at the time I think I made my point on knowing what she was up to). She than asked if I would ever let them see her. I told her it had to be handled in a mature / adult way. That I didn't care how it affected her or me it was about them. And she needed to think about the outcome of her decisions & the impact it has on them.
I reminded her several times that I was the one that stood behind her when this all happened 7 yrs ago. She put me in this place I am now & that I will do anything it takes to protect them. I reminded her that I've been the one that has been there thru all the adhd moments, when they were sick, picking up pieces that she left behind. I also told her I wouldn't put up with any of her family's crap & her lying that I stole them from her. She than told me the therapist doesn't want her talking with her mom, she's part of her problems (I totally agree with him on that) and that she never told anyone that I stole them. So once again, I sat her straight (her not knowing that I knew the same person that she told that too) you know that I know people that know people that know people (Oh my.. .I said it several times *lol*) I also told her we were to old to play the he said , she said & I wasn't gonna argue about her lies. I also told her that I remembered her mom & dad popping in and out of her life and the problems it has caused her & how much she hated it .. I asked her if that's what she wanted for the boys...

At the end of the conversation, I told her she needed to think long and hard about what I had to say.. and that I had alot to think about. The boys are the number one concern. She had my work number and could reach me there but we all needed to work together to do what is best for Adrian & Elijah... What ever that turns out to be... AND DON'T YOU EVER CONTACT THEM AGAIN without me knowing.

I think it went well. Heather & I talked alot about it this afternoon. I felt Krista has remorse & she always has had a soft spot in my heart. She never has had a chance. A broken home, alcoholic, drug addicted parents, no accountablility. The list goes on and on....
I asked Heather why God made me so compassionate instead of more on the stern side so I could just easily walk way and not care & her comment hit the spot. She said that we are compassionate because God is compassionate, and to look how many times we've messed up and he has been there for us. But than quickly reality checked me, reminding me why we are in the situation we are in. Why I have them....

My thinking on allowing them a supervised visit is :

She needs totake responsibility for what happened and then realize she did the right thing by giving them up & then needs to be able to forgive herself. The boys need to realize that she did love them, that they didn't do anything wrong to make her not love them & that she did the best thing for them & forgive her. I think it's called closure!!! One of my biggest fears is, If I don't allow them to get together in a Darla controlled environment, that eventually they are gonna hook up whether the boys seek her out or vice versa & I will not have any control in the situation. I truely belive that it would be better if I made it happen on my terms.....

So I'm praying for strength, wisdom & leadership. I've been searching the internet for any ideas, how to do this with the least amount of damage to the boys. Questioning myself, am I setting us all up for a huge fall, am I doing the right thing... The list goes on and on....

So that is todays saga... I do however feel better, I really don't believe she would try to take them or hurt them but my guard is not down & the claws are still out... We will get thru this it's just another hurdle in our every day life!!!

Wilbur Freedom it is......

To the scrapper's out there, I think you've heard me or others talk about the Stacy Julian book - Photo Freedom.. It is an awesome book and it helps to organize you, and give you the relief that you don't have to scrap all your pics, you don't have to go in chronological order & really if you just spend 15 -30 mins a day whether you are sorting, printing, grouping pics or just figuring out what paper you are using then walk away .. you've accomplished something. Next time you can walk in where you left off... Terms that are used "Cold Storeage", Popcycle sticks that you put your each kids name, your spouse , places you've been, people we know & etc..... These sticks are used so that when you are stumped that you pull a stick & you have to work on what ever the stick says.... Okay enough background....


Well, Heather read the book over Thanksgiving & she is sold on it ... Great concept, excited for her to get started. We talked about it on and off at work today.


This time of year we are not slammed with billing / selling fertilizer but oh my, the meetings, registrations, parties, licenses, grower gifts, mailers, the list goes on an on of things that we have to do.. and they all seem time sensitive.


Well Heather & I had to run to Moses Lake at lunch to purchase employee Christmas presents. While we were shopping we were talking about the book again & looking for items she could purchase to implement this great idea.. and all of a sudden being the good friend that I am...
it dawned on me "WILBUR FREEDOM". With my help & Staci's knowledge we could implement this plan for her at work!! OH MY!! What a great idea... The popsicle sticks could be labeled "Crap Pile", "File Crap Pile". "Print Invoices", "Staple Invoices", and a stick with each field man's name on it.. What a great idea. Not that Heather procrastinates or spins her wheels when it comes to these tasks it is just a plan to help keep her on task. *lol*... We would have to implement a few rules "No re-picking a stick", "Can't pull another stick until the previous stick is completed", and honestly she would only have to deal with the field man when she pulled their stick." Oh what a great idea... This would help her to end the stacks, the misery of deciding what task to work on, me pretending to blow the dust off the file pile *lol*.... Freedom, yes we can give her "WILBUR FREEDOM"... Now being the true friend I am, I asked what colors she would like to go with for her Wilbur Freedom. I even volunteered to make her the Popsicle jar *lol*....

Heather you know I love you & I'm always there to help!!!

Why Now????

The past day and a half have been an emotional rollercoaster. On our way home from work & school yesterday, Adrian hands me a note. As soon as I saw Adrian's name, I recognized the handwriting. I began scanning the note as fast as I could. The boys' biological mom wrote a note to Adrian and gave it to a kid in his class to give it to him. The note said: Adrian, I miss you, Call me (#Phone#). I love you MOM.....

My heart stopped, my stomach was sick.. OH MY GOSH!! After 7 yrs she decides to contact him. The questions started racing, I was spouting at the mouth when I realized what I was saying and how it sounded. I had to reel myself in... I than began to ask questions..

1) Where did you get this?
2) Who is Marco?
3) How does Marco know Krista
4) How are you feeling?
5) When did he give it to you?

The questions were rambling out of my mouth.

This is what i found out - Marco is in his class & Krista (boys mom) has something to do with Marco's parents/family/mom or dad. She is over at his house alot. She gave him the note to give to Adrian. He doesn't ride their bus. He doesn't play with him....

But still I'm freaked. Our house was full of emotion last night... from happy, scared, depressed, wander, fear.. It was awful. I couldn't quite let me emotions out as I was trying to help them deal with theirs.

Well I contacted the school. Mom's pic has been passed around. Made sure it was clear that the boys are not allowed to leave with anyone except me or the kids. Expressed my concerns, my fears. Contacted brother Dave - Do I confront her, Do I put out a no contact order, Do i contact our local police officers. We decided I should contact her and let her know how inappropriate that the note was. That she is not allowed to contact the boys without going thru me and if she trys it again, I will slap her with a no contact order & press charges. Explain to her what damage her little note has caused between the boys. Elijah actually told his teacher that she didn't even ask about him. Doesn't she know I'm her son too? That was his question... It has been a rough few days but with my faith and prayers I know we will get thru this. I always knew this day would come but was hoping it would be later!!

I really have to be careful because however I choose to handle this situation could effect the boys for the rest of their lives.

My car is possessed!!

For the past 3 winters, the locks on my car quit working. The first year I went to go to the P.U.D. and actually couldn't get out of the driver's side.. It locked me in... Oh what a sight to see my big butt slidin across the front seat to escape out the passenger door. I took it in and they couldn't get the door back on without fixing it and had to give me a loaner and cuz they didn't have the part. $400.00 later my locks were working again. The repair man said they had never seen anything like that before... Only me!!

Last year, same thing, winter came & locks quit working. Didn't dawn on me that the cold must be the problem. I called to see if it was under warrenty & sure enough if I had driven under 20,000 miles since they fixed it they would warrenty it.. Hello!!! I live in my car... I put way more than 20,000 a year on my car. So I gimped along thru the winter & low and behold, it started to warm up & I had locks again.... Who would have thunk!!

Well, guess what??? It's cold outside and last night the lock ghost returned... Sure enough they won't work again!! Oh how so frustrating... I've thought about putting a sticker in my window that says I have an alarm system or better yet.... If I don't keep it clean they will open the doors, look inside & decide they'd rather stay away *lol*....

Well, Jack Frost may be nippin at your toes and nose but he sure likes to play havoc on my locks....aghh !!!!

Congrats Adrian!!

Adrian's teacher called me this morning & apologized for short notice but Adrian was getting an award at the assembly. This is what she says.....

Darla I'm giving him the KNOWLEDGEABLE award... don't you think that is more fitting for him???

Well, it does fit him but I almost felt that she was grasping at a reason to give him an award.. Kind of funny!!!

Congrats Adrian!!!!