What is normalcy???

I know I seem to be posting lots about ADHD & medicine but that seems to be what has consumed me these past few months. Tonight I yearn for normalcy. You may ask what I mean by that... Being able to stay out past 6:00 p.m. with the boys behaving, not having to worry about where we will be at medicine time. Is it to late for a snack & have to be so strict on what type it can be depending on the time of evening..... But than I thought again and this is normalcy for me. This is my life that I have chosen and the life I was given. I will say it has been a challenge lately, more than in the past, but I wouldn't change it. I know that I've been given this challenge because God has faith in me to give the boys the best life possible and though it can be rough, I know that we will be fine. I need to quit doubting my strengths & quit being so hard on myself for being weak & find the strength within to continue on. And I will, and we will....

Today was the 1st day of the medicine change for Adrian. We took it at 5:00 a.m. and by 6:00 a.m. he was ready to get ready, ate a great breakfast, was happy go lucky kid. He even said "Hey mom, we are having a good morning, aren't we"..... Being it is spring break, today was spent with Kevin (his day off). Kevin said he was very well behaved, much calmer, he felt it was a good change. Adrian is to take a maintance dose apx at 2:00 ... Kevin called and said he felt he probably could make it till at least 3:00 without it - seemed on task still.. Well by 2:30 he changed his mind.. said he started getting wound. He took the 2nd dose & within 20 mins all was well. My next concern was eating. But he had a great dinner & a snack.... Then came time for bowling.. Started off much better tonight, it wasn't till 7:15 or so that you could tell it was wearing off.. By the time we got home at 8:00 it was off... So if it continues the same as today played out It will be a great change. The plan is for him to take med's at 5:00, sleep till 5:45 or so.. have great morning, afternoon & then take 2nd dose at school about 2:00 p.m. This will then kick in and allow him to do homework in the afternoon. I so hope this works.... You still won't see me out and about much past 6:00 p.m. it's just to hard on me and to hard on them...
So I guess you could say this is about as normal as we get in this family... so I will quit searching :)

Sales & Coupons......

I told myself this year I was going to Budget a whole lot better & although it's only been a few months, I'm proud to say, I'm doing a whole lot better with it. Not to say it's been easy but by far it's not. Along with the budgeting, I've been trying to shop the sales & use Coupons. I've been reading blogs & asking my good friend for any tips that she may have. I will say it brings a whole new way to the way I shop.. Power shop...No more!! Trying new items... yep who would have thunk. I can't wait for the day that I can grocery shop twice a month but for now it's once a week. Between coupons & sales shopping I saved $38.00 yesterday.. Now I'd love to be able to say I stashed the $38.00 but for now I will say I was able to get my groceries for the week for under $100.00. Couponing has changed my life a tad. I now buy the Tuesday & Friday Columbia Basin Herald. Tuesday, usually has a small coupon paper but it has the weekly adds. I found that Friday's CBH had several sections of coupons & has the Walgreens ad. and then Nick has been bringing his coupons from his paper. Now, you may wander what I do with the one's I don't use- I give them to my friend. Sometimes, I feel like I'm giving her my leftovers but I know that she uses stuff that I don't and she is wonderful for trying new things & that benefits me cuz then she tells me & I don't have to go out of the box on my own , I have a reccomendation.... Well, if you haven't tried coupons - you should.. I can't wait till I really have it down & I don't feel like such a newbie when I'm in the store.

Frustration is still there....

I found out Friday, late afternoon that Walgreen's was unable to fill one of Adrian's medications. The insurance has to pre-approve. So I spent at least an hour on the phone between the doctor, the pharmacy & Wilbur Ellis - Insurance representitive trying to find out why. This is what I did find out.

1) On an extended release medicine (sometimes) the insurance has to approve
2) It can take up to 48 hours (business hours) for the insurance to get back with the pharmacy
3) You can have double coverage insurance and the secondary can cover 100% which it does BUT you still have to have the primary accept it or decline it before they can fill it and bill to the secondary
4) Make sure you make follow up calls or you will be very suprised when you go to pick up your perscriptions.

We were supposed to start Adrian's new medicine change today. Well you can't start when you can't get one of the prescriptions filled. I will be spending Monday morning trying to speed things up because as of Monday morning that will be the last pill that I will have from his last perscription....

Can you say FRUSTRATED!!!

Well, today was the long awaited doctor appointment for the boys. Change is so hard & I've tried to be positive but oh how I miss Dr. Warner... As I sit and type this post, the tears are streaming down my face... I'm so frustrated.. I'm trying to be positive but it's really hard. Adrian has really struggled lately. I know it's time for a medicine change & I know I'm not the doctor with the degree but I'm his mom & I honestly feel that I know him. Well the doctor agreed to change his meds BUT he put him back on Adderall XR.. Adrian was on this several years ago. During this time he had insomnia terrible - up till 2 or 3 in the morning, loss of appetite - literally had to moniter his food intake- and the anger out bursts were terrible.. he even pulled the curtains off my wall one night... So why put him back on it.. Well, he feels that he has built up a tolerance to the Concerta & is on the highest dose possible for his age. So he needs to change. When I explained my concerns he said that he feels that when he was coming down off the meds that he was coming down to fast, so he has added along with the XR dose a adderall maintance dose that will be given at school. And along with this comes more change.. I need to change his entire schedule. Instead of getting up in the morning I need to try and make him sleep till 6:00 & give him his meds then (now explain to me how I get him up, dressed & fed and out the door by 6:30 so i can be to work by 7:00)... honestly Adrian can not stay focused enough to even get his clothes on with out his meds.. but I'm supposed to get him ready without any medicine....aghhh!!! Then the school will administer the 2nd dose about 2:00 hoping that it will last so he can do his homework directly afterschool & also hoping that it wears off in time so he can get a good nights rest....... I guess I would be more positive if we hadn't been thru this once before... He told me I would know within a week if it would work or not... he wants to see him in 2 weeks to see how it's going... (how thoughtful)- Okay that wasn't nice.... but I'm frustrated....
The worse part was when he left the room Adrian started to cry... it broke my heart... he begged me not to change his med's... He promised he would try harder..... He is so afraid of what the kids at school will say.. he feels that they treat him differently anyways just one more reason....My heart is breaking for him.. On another note he has terrible allergies.. Gets shots on a weekly basis. Well they are coming into full force.. Warner always had a prescription for an eye drop, nose spray & had me give him a benedryl at night (tried Clariton didn't work to hot)... Well guess what .. he wants me to stop the benedryl and put him back on Clariton!!! AGHHHH!!!!! These next few weeks will be interesting.. I pray for strength for me , guidence, patience, and strength and understanding for Adrian .

One last thing about Dr. Warner. - He was the most caring, loving doctor or person I know. He really cared about his patients & took time out of his busy day to talk & listen to the boys... They sure miss him...

Pepsi Cola - Sectional Tournament - Pullman

Elijah had advanced from a local level to a Sectional Level in the Pepsi Cola tournament. Sunday morning Nick,Elijah & I headed for Pullman. Being that it was at a divisional level, they not only had a very strict dress code inforced, but you couldn't take pictures with a flash, parents had to stay on the carpet & kids at the set tea area. If you wanted to talk with your child he had to meet you at the edge of the carpet *lol*...

Elijah was soooo nervous. Saturday night we spent about 30 mins trying to tell him he'd be ok. He wanted Adrian there, no one from his team was gonna be there, what if the lanes were different, He was crying & askin questions like crazy.

Well he went in a 48 average. They took the average from December 1( the boys had only been bowling a short time) . His first game was a 66, than a 68 and then 88, his handicap made up the difference. The had the cut off from the Western Qualifications at a 695. Elijah bowled a 705 with a handicap. By the looks of it he was in but we had to wait for the final results. They finally posted them late this afternoon & low & behold he made it.... He was so excited as you can see by the pics. State tournament is in Pasco, May 16th. How exciting!!!

Calling Nick to tell him that he made it to the STATE level

I have pictures.. blogger isn't cooperating.. I will add them later!!!

Pep talk on cell from Eric - Little guy in pic's name was Elijah too

Found out old teammate - Michael was going to be there

Original teammate from Moses Lake that moved 2 weeks earlier ... They were glad to see each other (Michael Brantley)

Patiently waiting & Extremely nervous!!

He Man Women Haters Club....

Tuesday Night Bowling : He Man Women Haters Club - Members Only

Elijah Mast

Kevin Whitaker

Adrian Hernandez

Tonight the little guys did great and the big guy struggled his second game. Elijah had 136 his 2nd game (He had 2 no tap strikes) Still a good game & Kevin had a 120. Ed from the bowling alley is good friends with Kevin and actually bowls on another league with him, he got on the microphone and told everyone that Elijah had a 136 and Kevin had a 120.... It was so funny....

Elijah was beaming & kevin was bright red *lol*...

Smith, Wesson, & Me....

Nick took the boys and me out shooting... We had a blast shooting the 22's and the BBguns... But I will tell you... Elijah was hitting the water bottles left and right... As for me... I will make bigger targets next time, cuz I'm sure I was close even though Nick kept saying I was way off..

Here's a few pics :)

Elijah after he hit the bottle 4 times in a row - I'm sure it's luck *lol*

I should have stayed home & scrapbooked *lol* (I stink)

God Bless You Abe......

My thoughts and prayers are with my friend, Janey Payney and her family today. One of a mother's proudest moments would definately be one of the hardest moments. Thank you Abe for getting on that plane today, leaving your family to defend our country & may God be with you on your newest journey.

Can you say Drama???

This story may be a little more aggressive than usual but I want to tell it like it happened & please just remember they are boys that are ALL BOY!!!

I have been walking as the boys are riding their bikes. It is quite a challenge trying to keep up but it's good for all of us. I have a journal coming up about Firsts.. so I thought I would take a few pics in regards to our first bike/walk trips.. Well there is one area that has gravel / dirt humps that are great for jumping.. The boys can get a good run at them & get some air. So of course I have to take pictures. So Adrian goes on the first on & gets great air,

well Elijah goes behind & gets nothing.

So we move over to the next littl bump. Adrian gets a good start & once again gets good air & then comes Elijah .... I'll let the pictures tell the rest.....

1) attempt jump

2) Crash and.......

3) Burned

Mom, I hurt my ba**s.... (I make sure he's ok & then sympathetically start laughing)... Elijah get up ... Mom, I really hurt my ba**S.. Elijah you are ok ... No mom really they hurt... Elijah get up and lets go.. So he gets up and leaves his bike. Elijah I'm not packing your bike, you wanted to jump , you got hurt, it's your bike, ride it or push it.. Mom, your not being fair.. Oh yes I am.. so he pushes the bike across the way.. lays it down & is still pouting

Elijah get up...(sympathetically laughing the whole time *lol*).. mom, quit laughing , I really hurt my ba**s.., quit laughing mom.. If you had ba**s, you wouldn't be laughing mom... That's right Elijah I don't and that's why I can laugh at you... Now get up and let's get movin... *lol* (he was fine really - Can you say DRAMA????

WHO WOULD HAVE THUNK!!!

I went to flush the science project down the toilet but "IT'S ALIVE"!!!!!

6:15 A.M. - Hey mom, we are having a party in class today... Oh really Adrian, were you supposed to bring anything.. Yeah, a salad, I thought that would be the easiest thing to make...
(We leave for work at 6:30ish..) Guess you know it didn't happen ....

Adrian & I have had our struggles lately. Him & I met with his teachers yesterday. It's straight across the board, he's having problems. Thank goodness we see the doctor next week. I think it's time for a medicine change & I fight it everytime. I can hear Dr. Warner saying "Darla, if Adrian was a diabetic & I told you it was time to increase his dose because he was growing would you struggle with it & my answer was always No... And he would reply than why are you struggling with this doseage update?"... I honestly don't know but it kills me every time we have to increase. Than I look back & Oh my I think it's been atleast a year if not longer that we've increased. It's time .. he's growing & changing.... Breathe Deep Darla. Adrian remembered his Trombone & his Science Fair board today!!! ( Huge accomplishment) & I made sure I boasted him alot. He's showing signs of low self esteem & I'm worried. Sometimes I feel that I repeat all the negative stuff & forget to commend him on the little steps that he does make... I wish I had a 101 ways instruction manual to being a perfect mom but honestly I don't think their is one & I think we all make mistakes. So at least at home I can say today has been one of the best days that we have had in several weeks. I sure hope tomorrow follows!!!

Still praying for guidence, strength, and wisdom to carry me thru the days to come.... And I know deep down It's gonna get better!!!!

The He - Man Woman Hater Club.....

Kevin, Elijah, and Adrian are bowling in a league on Tuesday nights. Tonight was the first night.
They had a blast. It's a family league but the only stipulation is you have to have at least one bowler under the age of 18. Two games, no tap (9 on the first ball counts as a strike) $5.00 each.

The boys are feelin' pretty cool bowlin' with their older brother, who happens to be a good bowler. They've been makin' comments like "We don't have to worry.. .Woody can take em' ". "We've got Woody, they've got nottin' "... Smack talk I tell you...

It came time for a name & oh my.. remember they are all boys... Kevin was tryin to be all serious and all of a sudden Elijah says - Hey Woody - How about 3 guys & 4 balls... Well we all busted out laughin' ... Never knowing what Elijah's intent was but could only imagine. Kevin declines & is still chucklin'.. Elijah finally goes "What's wrong with that .. there are 3 guys & you have 2 bowling balls, & Adrian & I each have 1 ... Get it .. 3 guys & 4 balls".... Boy did we all feel stupid ...
They came up with 2 peas & a pod... Strikeforce...Stikes r us... The 3 turkeys... but they finally decided on "The He-man Women Haters Club" (Little Rascals). They all liked that..

At times it seems that you spend more time talking about one child then the other.. I try to stay fair but I have to tell you... this is all about Elijah... I'm not sure if it's an age thing, I know it's a personality thing and it's an orra thing.... He was killing me tonight... He actually had people stopping and watching him bowl, cheering like crazy , and whispering" Look how can he do that"... *lol* Just imagine the boy on Jerry Mcquire or the little boy off of Stuart Little. bowling but I'm not exaggerating.. (I will post pics soon) The kid has a form of a pro - adult... he throws his ball down the right side close to the gutter & it hooks right into the pocket... I swear when he figures out how to get his spares. They better watch out... He averaged a 102 for both games tonight... That is good!! I guess you could say I was excited.... He has improved sooooo much & it's so wonderful to see him trying so hard.

Adrian had 2 great games also... He averaged a 105 for both games & that is fantastic too... We are going to look for shirts that match that they can wear on bowling night.

Kevin, Thank you!!! You will never know what this means to those two boys, that you would take time out of your schedule to bowl with them!!!

I Survived - with a new attitude!!!

1) Healthier Breakfast to inlcude fruit
2) Less Snacking - MUCH BETTER!!!
3) POT PIE FOR LUNCH - Not so great but I was starving & they are filling
4) EXCERCISED - Walked apx. 45 mins while boys rode bikes
5) Healthier Dinner to include a big salad
6) Drum Roll Please !!!! - Only 2 1/4 Diet Cokes Today -
7) Lots of Water

*I still need to work on the attitude, but I can say I do feel much better... *
Now for day 2....

The Weekend Roundup ......

Friday was a 1/2 day for Warden Schools.. Wonderful for the teachers but it's hard on the working mom's. I was able to take 1/2 a day off & spend the afternoon with the boys. Well we spent most of it at the doctor's waiting for allergy shots but the rest we spent hanging out.

Satuday morning we have bowling. the boys are doing so well. They are in first place. Elijah's average is up to 68 (he started barely above 30). Adrian's is 85 ( started around 60). Both boys averaged over 100 for the day . They are doing sooo good. It's fun to watch them try and figure out where to stand to get there spares & the excitement they have when it works.

We are blessed with the great-grandparents being there weekly. (yep I'm being sarcastic) I've tried real hard to be greatful but I have my days where I feel that they are intruding. Saturday morning did not go well. I need to learn to control my mouth but sometimes the buttons are pushed & FINALLY I have started standing up for myself. The saga went like this .... in a disgusted Great Grandma voice "I suppose you have Easter Plans". (now tell me how many people have plans on Easter - now really). So I politely said yes , we are having a brunch & possibly will be done early afternoon. If we don't have anything going on I might be able to bring the boys by. Where & what time??? In the disgusted voice again " Well Jay said he has given up on the boys - you never let them come over"... (Wrong thing to say!!!) I instantly got defensive - #1 NO ONE ever calls unless it's a HOLIDAY!!!! #2 I get soooo tired of them caudling Adrian & barely acknowledging Elijah ( Real fun when you have Nick their too...Who can caudle which child the most is absolutely sickning... *lol*) So my defensive / stern voice spoke up & said. " You know Mary.. I've tried .. I've tried to let the boys be involved but YOU GUYS need to UNDERSTAND that I have family too... & I'm sorry the ONLY time YOU GUYS even call is on a HOLIDAY!!! No one ever wants any involvement otherwise & quite frankly I'm tired of it!!"... "You guys are retired & JAY & BLAIR" are unemployed... Now I on the other hand am up at 4:30 everymorning, at work by 7:00 a.m. and try to keep the boys involved in activities... AND I"M SORRY ...if Your Family doesn't understand that I don't have to time to drop everything & run right over..... I than removed myself from the stool & paced a tad till I could calm down... AGHHH!!!! Probably wasn't the nicest thing to do but I get sooo frustrated...

After bowling...Kevin & I went to lunch at Inca's (thank you Kevin) I sooo needed a break. Nick took the boys and they went and shot bb guns..

Saturday night - we bbq'd for the first time this year.... I'm so glad the weather is warming up..
I really need an attitude change & I think it will help, more like I hope it will :)

Sunday - we watched movies, I scrapbooked, watched the races... It was a very relaxing day.

Monthly Rambling.....

Facebooking -vs- Blogging - I miss you Traci, Anita, Donna

Wednesday is officially our Family bowling day - After school Kevin, Elijah & Adrian & I go down and bowl. Last week I finally had two games that were good - 189 and 199 and the dreaded 138. But at least it wasn't 3 - 130's like last week.

Parenting has been rough lately - Adrian told me I was nagging him to much about homework & he wanted to try and keep up on his own.... (WRONG) I should have paid closer attention.. Now I'm nagging again... His attitude has been terrible. Last week I felt as if he hated me & I can honestly say one of the few times .. I wandered what I had gotten myself into. Hopefully after a terrible morning, the nasty taste of vinegar, and a few talkings from his brother Eric, Kevin & sister Jenn, things will get better. I keep praying for Patience, Strength, Understanding & Guidance to get thru this stage. We have a meeting at the school Tuesday morning & he is attending it ... Accountability is a word he has heard quite frequent. Our 3 month ADHD checkup had to be rescheduled.. So we have 2 more weeks than we go see Dr. Bond again.. I sure miss Dr. Warner & his staff.

I finally have gotten back into my scrapbook room. Every time I walked in I felt an overwhelming sensation come over me. I've finally completed 5 - 2 page layouts of my Grandma Jackson for each of my kids & a 3 page one for me. It's been 4 years & I finally found the perfect paper to get them finished... I love when I use something that I bought a few years back & it completes a page perfectly.. (money not wasted *lol*) I love when I can make myself go out of my box & create something I really like ( I used lots of flowers on her pages ) Not me at all.. I love the cricut design studio....

Easter is way to early for me as is spring break...

Elijah advanced in a bowling tournament - We travel to Pullman next weekend after we purchase him a pair of Kahki pants & a polo shirt. He still thinks we are Americans and that they shouldn't be able to tell us what to wear... *lol*

Do you ever get down on your self because of weight, attitude, life in general?? Well, I think I'm there... The sad part is I'm the only one that can change it.. So tomorrow, when I wake up & I'm so hoping that I have the strength to begin working on change. I know I will feel better but change is hard. So I'm starting off slow... Only 3 diet cokes a day... (don't laugh) this would be a tremendous achievement for me... *lol* Eating healthier... and Excercise... not running a marathon or triathalon.. just walking while the kids ride their bikes... And I know if I can slowly begin working on those minor changes the rest will fall into place.

Congratulations to the Payne family on their little bundle of joy... What a blessing!!!

Rachael, your last post had me in tears!!! I love that you are blogging

Well, I can honestly say these are ramblings..... Don't feel bad for just passing them by but at least when I go thru my journal ..I'll have some idea why I haven't blogged in a month *lol*