Basketball Saturday......

 Today I spent the day watching a couple of the littles playing ball.   Paul is watching Bama play for the championship so I'm good with being gone *lol*

Drae played at 9:00 .....

Then I watched Addie played at 4:30 - It was so fun to watch. There is absolutely no control with the girls team.   Addie is so full of energy - she gives it her all whether she is right or wrong *lol*

Love watching these kids play. 

Thanksgiving Day

 We spent Thanksgiving Day at home.  Paul cooked the traditional Thanksgiving dinner - I made rolls, Pecan Bars, Lemon Meringue Pie, and a Pumpkin Pie for Elijah.  It was a pretty uneventful day - Elijah came over for dinner as Eric's family was at Kandice's parents, Kevin & Amanda went over to her mom's, Jenn was going to spend the afternoon with her dad and Adrian was with Maddox's family - I always have a little bit of a rough time on Thanksgiving Day.  It's the holiday that we always spent at my grandparent's house with all my cousins. It's the holiday I miss my dad the most.  I'm so thankful for all that I have in my life but it's the day I miss the ones I loved that are now gone.   Our family Thanksgiving will be on Sunday.   The day I love to spend with all 29 of us ....

Weekend Ramblings.... 

Gas fill up - Gas pump eats my debit card - 15 mins later - manager gets it out *lol

Tricites - wedding returns .... Shoplifter in custody - rolling on floor - by 11:30  way to many people for me got the heck out of there

Buffalo Wild Wings - Closed no fryer to cook (WTH)

Met up with Kandice & Eric at Mercantile - got my girl hugs 

Drivers on 17 - absolutely stupid - weaving in and out of cars - there is a reason the cars are backed up for a mile.... 

Saturday evening I get to watch some littles play Basketball. 

Mckenzie has had a hard time recovering from Covid not the virus the not going to school and not being able to play sports about ruined her.  It was so good to see her smiling and getting her aggressiveness back. 

After her game I ran over and watched Carson play ... This kid has so much heart when he plays .  Oh did I tell you his dad is the coach - melts my heart to see them together. 

Love watching these kids play !!!  

 Today is dad's birthday -  He would have been 95 - wow!!!   I sure miss him .....

Things about dad:

1) I was a daddy's girl 

2) He was very mechanical and was my number 1 mechanic for my bug

3) He loved to camp - hunt - fish 

4) He was a die hard Cowboy's fan and a die hard Atlanta Brave fan - I'm sure he was doing his rally hat during a few of those games this year 

5) He loved his grandkids - they really were the light of his eyes.

6) He was so proud of his garden 

7) He was so proud of his sobriety after all those years 

8) He was a fantastic cook

I literally could go on and on and on ... In my eyes he was a super hero.  - Love and miss you dad !!!

Well I'm back to blogging - 

Something is missing ...... I can't put my finger on it .... but  I need to find me again... 

I've waited for many of years till the day I was happily married,  my kids were all out on their own and I basically could do what I want when I want .  Well the time has come, and I'm struggling ?   I can't put my finger on it... I have everything a girl can want & I'm still waiting for that shoe to drop .  How do you live without fear of failure, fear of losing a loved one, fear of disappointing , fear of not being good enough. 

I'm not sure but I do know - I'm not going down without a fight . 

Things I do know - 

1) Covid has changed the way of the world and not in a good way.  I think I'm suffering from a little depression from all of this.

2) I'm so grateful for my job & I pray we can make it thru this hump.  I love what I do and who I work for.

3)   I've been a mom so long, I'm not sure how to not be one.   I will always be their mom, I will always be here if they need me BUT when they were little and hurting you could fix things - I have to find peace within myself and trust that they will work thru their problems and me stressing knowing I can't fix it doesn't help anything just makes me stressed and causes issues in my life.

4) Paul & I have almost been married 5 months -  In the past 5 months - we have survived Covid and we were sick... For 2 weeks we were stuck in a house, stuck in bed or in the recliner - taking turns - we literally left our back door open for 2 weeks strait so the dogs could go in and out to the back yard because we were both too sick to let them in and out.  If one got up they checked on the other needs so we both weren't having to get up .  I honestly wandered how we would handle this situation if it were to happen and I will say we came out stronger . 

5) I'm very grateful for my kids, my grandkids and my friends who are alot more family then friend.

6)  I was sitting going thru my blog the other day & it brought me happiness.   I love to journal - I've tried on the Ipad - I've tried writing but I'm back to blogging.  I loved going back and looking at the good times, the bad times, the happy times.  Hoping this will help me to figure out what is missing...